The Star Wars ‘Octilogy’

So you thought there were only 6 installments of Star Wars? Arguably, they're the most popular trio of movies out there, surpassing the likes of the Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, and yes, for all you spaghetti eatin mofos, even the Godfather(s)- the original Stars Wars movies are legends. It's true, and you can gauge this paradox by asking 10 random strangers what the original "Trilogy" is. I will put my editor's sac on the block that more than half will reply with "Star Wars".

Now, some people get confused about the new editions, 'cause they don't know what to call them. Some don't even acknowledge them. Most likely these people also drive minivans, don't rip the tag off their mattresses, and voted for Bush. Their disdain for the new episodes is all because this time around, the new movies didn't feature any fluffy, dancing, Jim Henson butt-puppets on a stick, that they could relate to. Another reason they didn't like the new episodes is, that they actually liked Jar-Jar for his jazzy wit, his boyish good looks and found him gleefully entertaining; at least until their kids even said on the ride home that they wanted Jar-Jar gunned down like Tu Pac...<glock,glock>…

Having said all that, above it all, they just ignored the new editions because they didn't know what to call the new editions..  There wasn't a new catchy phrase associated with them- Mainly because the minivan drivers couldn't think of another word for 'trilogy', and the word 'episodes' was scary to them. I am here to add fuel to the fire on the debate of Old vs. New Star Wars, of which, actually are the "old" ones, technically.. Anyways.. No, I am not daring enough to try and coin a phrase for the new triplets of Eps' 1, 2 and the lovely, evil-filled cupcake called "Revenge of the Sith". There is a new twist here-  There are 8 episodes, not 6.

Hard-core fans of "not growing up", may already know the direction of my subject matter here. See, anyone who refuses to 'grow up' (no matter what bills, what responsibilities, job(s), snobby girlfriend(s)/wives, etc. they got - basically like all of us here at BTDT), they STILL watch cartoons. The Simpsons haven't been on TV for 13+ years without any kind of adult audience, and the show doesn't cater to the 6-year-olds either. And, even more so with the Family Guy (so glad they brought it back)-  So, skimming the crème de la crème of cartoons within the last 2 decades, a few years back, I got wise to a cartoon called "Samurai Jack".  It was tremendous stride for cartoons; it was old school Japanese art come-to-life (sort of); extremely well-done action, fantastic sword-fighting sequences, with tense moments, a nod to "Caine" in Kung Fu, a tip-of-the-hat to cowboy films, and great respect to the Samurai ‘Bushido’ way. This masterpiece work was done by a little someone named Genndy Tartakovsky.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one with this opinion- 'cause the all mighty, ever-watchful, Overlord Lucas allowed something great happen.. Star Wars was coming to a cartoon form via Genndy. Not only was he practically knighted as a Jedi, he was given a chance to flex with the Jedi story in this cartoon.

I had the distinct pleasure of catching Clone Wars during a Cartoon Network Marathon (both Vol.1 and 2) a week prior to the most recent cinematic release of the glorious ass-patting, good game of Evil, called, "Revenge of the Sith". I watched in awe as I feasted my eyes upon this cartoonic bliss.  I stood, cheered and applauded, alone, in my living room once it was over. I then (since I was already standing) grabbed my keys (true story) and went straight to WorstBuy and purchased the only volume available at the time, volume 1 of Star Wars "Clone Wars"..  Watched it twice more that night. What many people are oblivious to, as much as Luke's steady wingman "Wedge" was to the fact that his name was really "Jew" pronounced backwards, is that this Clone Wars cartoon…………………..

<wait for it….>

…fits right between the storylines of Episode 2 and 3, precisely right up to the opening scene of Episode 3. They need to repackage the covers, and label them as Episodes Vol. 2.1 and Vol. 2.2, at the very least. These two DVDs of the Clone Wars were some of the best cartoon footage I have ever seen. The plots, the depiction of the Jedi, General Grevious, the gratuitous scenes with the ARC Troopers, new baddies, new Jedi and spot-on voices and sound effects, were so good that for all intents and purposes, it gave me Stars Wars Wood, just like back in the day with Leia along side Jabba.

…awwww yeaaaaaaaaah.

Now, having let the Bantha out of the bag, between the fact that the Clone Wars was meant to be an appendage between Eps 2 and 3, and the fact that it was done Samurai Jack style, and just the plain fact that it IS Star Wars, not just some cheese whiz, Saturday morning marketing machine (well, everything Lucas does is a marketing machine but..)- that alone tells you, you need to add these to your SW movie collection to complete it. If you've watched the last little, teabag of evil, named "Revenge of the Sith", and if you could use another saber-filled eyefull…then I do undoubtedly and unequivocally recommend getting not one, but both volumes of Star Wars Clone Wars. The Clone Wars Vol.2 just arrived in stores (Dec 6th 2005), and is ripe for the plucking, like a womp rat in the crosshairs... After all, it's what you've been waiting for since you were a pre-cable-TV brat anyways.. So dive in, embrace your inner-child, and then giv'em a wet willy, 'cause it'll be the best Saturday morning cartoon fest you've had since they cancelled the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. And you KNOW you watched it- don't even front..

-Unleasht